My Account

  • Order History
  • Track Orders
  • Account
  • Blog
Share
Shop All Categories
  • Nursing
    • Bras
    • Pillows
    • Covers
    • Nipple Shields
    • Milk Bands
  • Pumping
    • Pumps
      • Free Breast Pumps
    • Bras
    • Pump Parts
    • Breast Shields
    • Milk Storage
      • Bottles
      • Bags
    • Baby Bottles
  • On The Go
    • Baby Carriers
      • Slings
      • Wraps
    • Diaper Bags
      • Breast Pump Bags
      • Backpacks
      • Cooler Bags
      • Clutches
  • Care & Comfort
    • Nursing Pads
    • Nipple Cream
    • Gel Pads
  • Milk Production
  • Fun & Gifts
    • Mugs
    • Water bottles
    • Jewelry
      • Bracelets
      • Earrings
      • Necklaces
      • Pins & Charms
      • Rings
Breastfeeding Bliss
  • Cart

Free shipping. 30-day returns.

Zero worries.

Categories

  • Nursing
    • Bras
    • Pillows
    • Covers
    • Nipple Shields
    • Milk Bands
  • Pumping
    • Pumps
      • Free Breast Pumps
    • Bras
    • Pump Parts
    • Breast Shields
    • Milk Storage
      • Bottles
      • Bags
    • Baby Bottles
  • On The Go
    • Baby Carriers
      • Slings
      • Wraps
    • Diaper Bags
      • Breast Pump Bags
      • Backpacks
      • Cooler Bags
      • Clutches
  • Care & Comfort
    • Nursing Pads
    • Nipple Cream
    • Gel Pads
  • Milk Production
  • Fun & Gifts
    • Mugs
    • Water bottles
    • Jewelry
      • Bracelets
      • Earrings
      • Necklaces
      • Pins & Charms
      • Rings

Brands

  • Medela
  • Lansinoh
  • Moby Wrap
  • Udder Covers
  • Ju-Ju-Be
  • Petunia Pickle Bottom
  • LilleBaby Carriers
  • Vilah Bloom
  • LeMystere
  • Spectra
  • Nuk
  • Contours Baby
  • Beachfront Baby
  • Snugabell Mom & Baby
  • Bravado Designs
  • Calypso
  • Ameda
  • Hygeia
  • Kiinde
Home > Blog > A Test in Patience: How I Handle My Precociously Anxious Preschooler

A Test in Patience: How I Handle My Precociously Anxious Preschooler

A few months ago, Mae asked me yet again if we could get a cat. We tried to appease her desire to have a pet with Sparkles, her beloved fish that we got her for her 4th birthday, but it seems her inability to cuddle with and harass him has left her wanting more. 

Rather than say “no” again, I told her she could get a cat…when she was 25 years old. It was a half joke, but she latched on to it and got super excited. “Ok!” she exclaimed, seemingly unaware of how far away another 21 years would be. Nevertheless, she now had hope for the future and something to look forward to, and she was happy.

We were driving in the car recently, and she was talking about how excited she is to get a cat when she’s 25, when she says in a panic, “Will you still be alive then?” 

Mae has been worried about death – specifically, her own death and our death – since she was 3 years old. It seems crazy to me that such a little person could even grasp the concept of death at such a young age, but that’s Mae – a sensitive, precocious, anxious little human who worries about things beyond her years.


It’s not always easy to know what to say to her or how to handle her. I mean, I wasn’t expecting to have to answer the “death” question for quite a few more years. But, it’s not just concern about her mortality that causes Mae to worry. There are so many triggers for her, and every day, it feels like any one of the following landmines could set her off:

–Falling out of routine: Mae LOVES routine and familiarity. I know a lot of kids do, but she really, really is happiest when she knows exactly what is going to happen each day.

–Making a change: In a similar vein, she HATES change – even the smallest changes. For example, we recently introduced gummy vitamins into the girls’ diets. Mae hates sweets (crazy, I know), so unlike 99% of children in the world, she found the delicious grape gummy vitamins to be so repulsive that she gagged and almost threw up on them for an entire month. So, I researched other vitamins and found a brand that had amazing reviews, all of which said their kids absolutely loved the taste, and I bought them. When I gave her the new and improved gummy vitamins, she had a meltdown and, through her sobs, told me how much she loved the old vitamins. I kid you not. This was not a meltdown about the taste of the vitamins. She simply has THAT much of an extreme reaction to change – even if it’s a good change.

–Losses: As I mentioned, she’s particularly sensitive to death and losing things, so she mourns all losses. I threw away an old toothbrush of hers one night, and she was beside herself about the loss of the toothbrush and tearfully cried, “I didn’t even get to say goodbye!!”

–Being on her own: Mae and my niece, Charlie, are only 3 months apart, and as you might imagine, they’re BFFs. They take dance class together, go to summer camps together, and are basically inseparable. But, they’re not in the same school district. When it came time for preschool, and Mae had to go to school without Charlie, she was a basket case. She cried about going to school for almost the entire year. She never acts like this except when she’s alone, and I’ve come to realize that she needs a safety net. This safety net is typically me or whoever is watching her for the day, but Charlie also acts as her safety net much of the time. Without any of us there, she really struggles.

–Disasters: Mae worries about everything, including hurricanes, tornadoes, ambulances, and police cars. We had to stop watching the nightly news because she was paying such close attention and getting so upset about natural disasters and other things in the news.


As you might imagine, most days DO involve one of the above triggers, and so we’ve had to come up with some creative ways to handle Mae’s “unique” personality:

–Compassion and patience: As difficult as it can be sometimes, we try to muster up as much patience and compassion with her as we can (I’m a bit better at this than Nate is ðŸ˜‰). I remind myself that she’s this very little person with very big thoughts, and this world must look pretty scary to her. I give her a big hug and explain things to her as best I can and answer her questions (or at least the first 20 questions!).  

–No surprises: We don’t “spring” anything on Mae. She’s not someone who enjoys surprises – not even good ones! She would much rather know something is coming up and look forward to it, so we try to give her lots of time to process, ask questions, and get comfortable with any changes. 

–Help her visualize the change: Whenever we’re switching up her schedule or doing something new, I usually walk her through what it’s going to look like and how it will impact (or not impact) her day. For example, we sent her to a summer camp a few weeks ago. Rather than springing it on her on Sunday (“You start camp tomorrow!”), I started talking to her about it a full week in advance. Her first reaction was “No, I don’t want to go!” (even though Charlie was going to be there). So, I walked her through what her day would look like during that week: “You’ll wake up, eat breakfast, watch Pinkalicious, get dressed, and then head to camp! Then you’ll come back home, eat lunch, and play.” We talked about it every day, and I could see her physically start to relax the more we talked about it and the more she got some of her questions answered. There were still some things she was anxious about – “Who are the teachers? What will the classroom look like?” – and I just told her that I wasn’t sure, but I would be right there with her and wouldn’t leave until she was comfortable.

–Tough love: Nate and I both agree that the only way for her to get over this is to push through it, and so we force Mae to do lots of new things with new people in new places. We sign her up for classes, encourage her to make new friends, and switch up her schedule on purpose periodically. The more she learns to breathe and cope, the easier it becomes for her. Life is nothing if not change, and the sooner she learns to accept that, the happier and more well-adjusted she’ll be.


Full disclosure: Like so much in parenthood, we’re just muddling through this and making it up as we go. No one knows all the answers, as far as I can tell, so we hope that we’re making the right decisions and helping her to become a little less anxious and a little more easy-going. And we’re hoping we’ll still be here in 21 years when Mae finally gets her first cat. ðŸ˜Š




About Katie Stansberry

Katie Stansberry is a work-remote mom of two sweet girls and the creator of Breastfeeding Bliss. After struggling at the beginning of her breastfeeding journey, she wanted to create a happy place where breastfeeding moms could find practical tips, positive inspiration, and the newest and best breastfeeding products. On her "Back to Bliss" breastfeeding blog, she shares her personal stories and tips for making breastfeeding and motherhood an easier and more enjoyable experience.

Share
Read More Posts

Mom-approved favorites to check out...

Sail Away Satchel Diaper Bag by Vilah Bloom, Award-Winning - Zip Top (Color: Navy)
Sail Away Satchel Diaper Bag by Vilah Bloom, Award-Winning - Zip Top (Color: Navy)
$182.95
Spectra 9Plus Breast Pump, Electric, Portable & Rechargeable - Mini
Spectra 9Plus Breast Pump, Electric, Portable & Rechargeable - Mini
$179.95
Blush Sprigs & Blooms Small Diaper Clutch Bag by Golden Finch Co
Blush Sprigs & Blooms Small Diaper Clutch Bag by Golden Finch Co
$49.95
Breastfeed & Chill White Ceramic Coffee Mug for Breastfeeding Moms (Size: 11 oz.)
Breastfeed & Chill White Ceramic Coffee Mug for Breastfeeding Moms (Size: 11 oz.)
$19.95
Boxy Backpack Diaper Bag w/ 2-Way Straps by Petunia Pickle Bottom (Color: Minnie Factor Blush)
Boxy Backpack Diaper Bag w/ 2-Way Straps by Petunia Pickle Bottom (Color: Minnie Factor Blush)
$220.95
Milk Drunk Hard Enamel Pin w/ Gold Detail for Breastfeeding Moms
Milk Drunk Hard Enamel Pin w/ Gold Detail for Breastfeeding Moms
$14.95
Gray Days/Pink Flowers Adjustable Nursing Cover in Regular or Large (Size: Regular)
Gray Days/Pink Flowers Adjustable Nursing Cover in Regular or Large (Size: Regular)
$32.95
Moby Ring Sling for Baby & Toddler – Adjustable, One Size Fits All (Color: Silver Streak)
Moby Ring Sling for Baby & Toddler – Adjustable, One Size Fits All (Color: Silver Streak)
$52.95
Mama Shark Needs Water 34 oz Water Bottle for Breastfeeding Moms
Mama Shark Needs Water 34 oz Water Bottle for Breastfeeding Moms
$24.95
Bebitza 4-in-1 Nursing Cover in Soft Textured Knit by Primo Baby (Color: Pink)
Bebitza 4-in-1 Nursing Cover in Soft Textured Knit by Primo Baby (Color: Pink)
$49.95

My Account

  • My Account
  • Order History
  • Track Orders
  • Address Book

Let's get social.

440-606-6585
1657 Mentor Ave,
Painesville, OH 44077

Breastfeeding Bliss
© Breastfeeding Bliss. All Rights Reserved. Designed by KREATIVE
Our website uses cookies to make your browsing experience better. By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More I Agree
× What Are Cookies As is common practice with almost all professional websites this site uses cookies, which are tiny files that are downloaded to your computer, to improve your experience. This page describes what information they gather, how we use it and why we sometimes need to store these cookies. We will also share how you can prevent these cookies from being stored however this may downgrade or 'break' certain elements of the sites functionality. For more general information on cookies see the Wikipedia article on HTTP Cookies. How We Use Cookies We use cookies for a variety of reasons detailed below. Unfortunately in most cases there are no industry standard options for disabling cookies without completely disabling the functionality and features they add to this site. It is recommended that you leave on all cookies if you are not sure whether you need them or not in case they are used to provide a service that you use. Disabling Cookies You can prevent the setting of cookies by adjusting the settings on your browser (see your browser Help for how to do this). Be aware that disabling cookies will affect the functionality of this and many other websites that you visit. Disabling cookies will usually result in also disabling certain functionality and features of the this site. Therefore it is recommended that you do not disable cookies. The Cookies We Set
Account related cookies If you create an account with us then we will use cookies for the management of the signup process and general administration. These cookies will usually be deleted when you log out however in some cases they may remain afterwards to remember your site preferences when logged out. Login related cookies We use cookies when you are logged in so that we can remember this fact. This prevents you from having to log in every single time you visit a new page. These cookies are typically removed or cleared when you log out to ensure that you can only access restricted features and areas when logged in. Form related cookies When you submit data to through a form such as those found on contact pages or comment forms cookies may be set to remember your user details for future correspondence. Site preference cookies In order to provide you with a great experience on this site we provide the functionality to set your preferences for how this site runs when you use it. In order to remember your preferences we need to set cookies so that this information can be called whenever you interact with a page is affected by your preferences.
Third Party Cookies In some special cases we also use cookies provided by trusted third parties. The following section details which third party cookies you might encounter through this site.
This site uses Google Analytics which is one of the most widespread and trusted analytics solution on the web for helping us to understand how you use the site and ways that we can improve your experience. These cookies may track things such as how long you spend on the site and the pages that you visit so we can continue to produce engaging content. For more information on Google Analytics cookies, see the official Google Analytics page. We also use social media buttons and/or plugins on this site that allow you to connect with social network in various ways. For these to work, the social networks may set cookies through our site which may be used to enhance your profile on their site, or contribute to other purposes outlined in their respective privacy policies.